S2E8: How Being Intrinsically Driven Leads to Living A Fantastic Life
Debra Kasowski will teach us how certain routines we focus on daily help us reveal our own golden pearls of wisdom within. Have you ever wondered why some people are okay with mediocre lives while others strive to be all they can be – they actually crave it. They strive to be better than yesterday, be happier and healthier than the day before. Debra has some wisdom you won’t want to miss!
Guest Bio
Debra Kasowski, the charismatic host of the thought-provoking podcast, “The Millionaire Woman Show,” is committed to enriching the leadership potential of her countless clients, essentially guiding them to go within to capitalize on their true personal power, so they can achieve the measurable success they desire in business, and in life. After graduating with distinction, having earned a Bachelor of Science in Nursing, this award winning, three-time international bestselling author, TEDx speaker, Forbes Contributing Writer, and Certified Executive Coach spent many years as a clinical manager exceling in leadership development. All this preceded founding Debra Kasowski International, a world-class training and consulting venture focused on helping aspiring business owners and solopreneurs develop the winning “success habits” that transform human potential into sustainable profits. Clearly, if you’re motivated to move beyond the mediocre, inspired to forge on to the forefront with a proven plan of action, there’s no doubt that the indomitable Debra Kasowski is your solution.
Social media links for Debra Kasowski:
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/DebraKasowskiInternational
LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/debra-kasowski-bscn-cec-acc-7a685212/
Twitter – https://twitter.com/DebraKasowski
Website – https://www.debrakasowski.com
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As a big thank you for being a guest on our podcast, we’d like to offer you a free copy of Dr. Lycka’s bestselling book the show is built on “The Secrets to Living A Fantastic Life.” Get your free copy by emailing allen@2021.drallenlycka.com.
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Transcripts
Dr. Allen Lycka
Well, today I’m honored to have a very special guest. Her name is Debra Kasowski and what makes her so special is I met her not too long ago, we were at a talk a bLUTalk the first bLUTalk ever. The inaugural bLUTalk run by Corey Poirier. Corey is doing a lot more of these now. And I think he’s up to his fourth bLUTalk now, but they’re amazing things. So, what I’m going to do first Debra I’m not going to introduce you, but I’m going to get you to say a little bit about yourself. Can you do that?
Debra Kasowski
Sure, sure. For those of you who do not know me and please, I welcome you with open arms I am Debra Kasowski, three-time bestselling author, speaker, executive coach, and I’m the podcast host of The Millionaire Woman Show where we had Dr. Lycka as one of my guests
Dr. Allen Lycka
Yeah. So that’s how we made this connection. I said, Gee, she’s so enthusiastic, I’m Dr. enthusiasm, but she’s beating me. So, I got to get her on my show.
Debra Kasowski
Like attracts like, Allen
Dr. Allen Lycka
Yes, for sure, for sure. So, tell us about what you’re doing. What things are you doing that’s new and exciting right now? Because I know you used to live a corporate existence at one time, which I think was kind of boring for you.
Debra Kasowski
Well, I feel like sometimes it feels like you have these boundaries around you. And I’m in the midst of reading a book by Glennon Doyle. And it’s called Untamed. And I’m in the middle of it. I’m like, hey, wait a minute I think she’s describing a little bit of me in that character of her because it is a memoir, as well. But what I realized is, there’s so much more, I hit a point in my life where there’s so much more that I want to give so much deeper, meaningful conversations that I want to have with people to really help them open their eyes to their own potential. So, you know, with a nursing background, and I still do some work in that area. But what I really do is I think about the intention really being intentional with every conversation that I have. And I want people to know that I see them. I see them for who they see themselves to be at this moment. And I see them as to the person that they could step into if they could only see that mirrored back to them.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Yeah. So, you know, people have a hard time identifying themselves. You know, I think most people live quiet lives of quiet desperation. They do the same thing over and over again. And they live their lives, but they don’t live them to the extent that they should, is that correct?
Debra Kasowski
A Hundred percent. I think one of the things that I also have realized is that we don’t build enough anticipation into our calendars. And I’ve been giving a lot of thought to this, because when you know, even with, you know, uncertain circumstances around us, I think it’s really important to realize that you can get yourself out of a funk when you start planning, things that you can anticipate. And it could be as simple as you know what Friday, I’m going to get up early rain or shine, and I’m going to go for a walk in the river valley. Or I’m going to do this with my family, we’re going to go for a picnic. And if it rains, we’re going to do something different. But we’re going to change it up. But it’s something I can look forward to something that might require a little bit of planning. And when you have those things built into your life, that anticipation, then you’re like, there’s that excitement, you start generating that new energy and enthusiasm. So, one of the things that I like to do is making sure that there’s things in my calendar. Whether it being connecting with girlfriends, getting a chance to go on the patio, doing something with my family, a phone call that I need to set up with a friend that you know, maybe can’t get out. All of these things build anticipation, they build excitement. And if people want to have more excitement in their lives, they need to generate it from within.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Are you telling me it’s okay to play sometimes Debra? Are you telling me it’s actually okay not to be on podcasts all day long, writing books all day long, being on stages all day long, that it’s okay to play?
Debra Kasowski
It is. And you know what, but I love podcasting. I love writing and I love being on the stage. But one of the things that I also I was reading, and I’m actually so in the midst of reading, because it has exercises is a book called The Artists Way, by Julia Cameron. And one of the things that she does is she takes you through a series of exercises to help people get out of their creative blocks. And we’re all creators. We’re all artists in our own way, whatever our talent may be. And through these exercises of taking yourself on an artist’s date of walking in nature, or maybe painting, or reading a book, or you know, cleaning my closet, as we were talking about before it came on, all of those things are taking the taxing brain parts away. This is where those eureka moments breakthrough ideas come from. So that when I am in a space of creativity, and my brain is not being taxed by everyday things that require full brainpower, all of a sudden, there’s space, for me to have those eureka moments, those moments of insight.
Dr. Allen Lycka
You know, I find my brain has different phases in it. My writing brain works best first thing in the morning. And sometimes it wakes up way too early. So, I’m awake at three o’clock in the morning writing, you know, because that’s when my writing brain is there. That’s when my muse can actually find the words and put them all to paper. So, I can write 20 pages in about two hours at three o’clock in the morning. Whereas you asked me to do it at this time of day the words don’t flow, they’re like hard, heavy lifting. I have to use a thesaurus to find the right words at this time of day. It’s like, wow, where did my creativity go? Where did my insights go? They were there earlier. But this time of day, I find my other brain is awake. When I talk to people, it works better at this time of the day. I find that there’s different cycles in people’s lives in daytime when you do certain things. You know? Are you a morning person or an afternoon person?
Debra Kasowski
I consider myself a morning person. I love getting up while the whole house is still sleeping.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Yeah.
Debra Kasowski
To have that time to myself. And that’s silence and I can get more done in the hours that everyone’s asleep. Then when everyone’s up.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Yeah, I find for most of my heavy lifting my golden hours are the first in the day. You know, those are the golden hours. I get done more by 10 o’clock in the day than most people get done in the entire day. Now I try to use the entire day, of course. But the point is there are different times that and I think people should be aware of their different cycles and their own their different. Now there are some people that their brains don’t wake up until 11 o’clock at night. And they are night people, and they go until two or three in the morning.
Debra Kasowski
Yeah, I used to do that as well. But I got myself into a morning routine that really keeps me focused to have consistent practice and habits and it’s worked much better than staying you know, this night, you know until two, this night till midnight and having that fluctuation.
Dr. Allen Lycka
So, I’m going to ask for a secret from you, what is your daily routine? What do you find the best thing that works for you?
Debra Kasowski
One of my best things is to get up, do some journaling, do some reading, get that workout in. You know, when I had very structured hours, like I, with everything, I went to the gym. But now if the gym is not available, I go to my basement with whatever weights I have bodyweight exercises and things like that. And the journaling, getting out any thoughts that are racing through my head, as soon as they get out of my head and onto paper, it’s like they’re gone. I just needed to dump it out. So, it’s not cycling here. So that when I do do my creative work, I’m fully focused and doing the work that needs to be done. It’s so important to clear your head of anything that you might have be bringing up from your past from yesterday, that you’re just recycling different events. And once you’ve ink it, you can let go so you don’t have to think it during the rest of the day.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Okay, now you are head of Debra Kasowski International, a world class training and consulting venture focused on helping aspiring business owners and solopreneurs develop the winning success habits, that informed human potential into sustainable profits. Clearly, you’re motivated to move these people from their mediocrity into another level. Is that correct?
Debra Kasowski
Absolutely. One of the things is, is people want to need to be driven, intrinsically driven to succeed, have a hunger to really get to the next level. And one of the things when I work with people, I want to make sure that they see that potential that they can step into, to hear the words, imagine, have a permission to dream to really think about where they’re going. I have certifications in emotional intelligence to do assessments, appreciative inquiry, so I do a lot of focus on positive psychology. I’m pro site change management facilitator, as well as a leads coach certified. So, it’s all about leading self-engaging others achieving results, developing those coalition’s these stakeholders, getting to connect with people one on one, as well as watching systems transform, but the greatest transformation is within yourself.
Dr. Allen Lycka
So, one of the secrets to success, I think you’re saying is coaching were you coached at one time?
Debra Kasowski
I was, and I do work with a coach as well, you know, on a more infrequent basis. But having a coach really transforms your accountability. It has someone that you’re answering to, but it’s also a partnership, we in brainstorming, having that thinking sounding board to help you really create a plan to help you get out of your own way, instead of talking yourself out of why you think you cannot do something versus having someone say, okay, let me challenge you. Let me you know, challenge those assumptions that you’re having, let’s brainstorm some solutions together. Because everything you need is truly within you. And a coach is trained and skilled at asking those questions to help draw those solutions out of you. Because you already have the answers within you to have whatever it is that you feel called to go toward.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Oh, yeah. You know, in my earliest days, I was a I graduated from medical school back in 1983. And then I went through dermatology, I came out of dermatology in 1989. And as soon as I came back the early 1990s, we, Alberta went through one of the biggest recessions that we are now going into again. So, I knew as a doctor, I couldn’t survive on what was going to happen. So, I transitioned into being a cosmetic doctor, but to be a cosmetic doctor is not just knowing the skills. Skills are just a subset of what you learn. You have to learn how to market and one of the things I learned is I needed a coach to help me with all that. So, I had a coach by the name of Dan Kennedy, who was one of the best coaches there ever was. Because in the mastermind series, I learned the basics of all this stuff. And would have a group of 20 people together. Many of them are still my friends. And we were able to learn those things and also carry each other further. Now after that Dan was getting out of business, so he had Bill Glazer took over his partner, and then Bill Glazer went out of business. So, then I went to Brendon Burchard to learn some things. I think some people know Brendon Burchard.
Debra Kasowski
Yeah,
Dr. Allen Lycka
He’s another Mr. Energy, he has an energy workshop that turns people into things. The first workshop, I went to him, I flew to San Francisco, I got to the workshop late, because a plane delays, etc., etc., etc., the usual thing that used to happen to the days of travel, and I walked into his workshop, and it was like, I thought it was the craziest place in the world. Everybody was screaming, hollering, shouting, I thought I had gone to a frickin Baptist meeting where everybody was just going crazy. And all of a sudden, Mr. energy comes in. And you know why the room is enthused because he truly vibrates energy. But boy, did he teach me a lot about the business of this new world that we’re in, where you have to be on the internet, you have to be on YouTube. And you have to be on social media, you have to be on all of these things at once. And you never have enough hours in the day to do everything. But
Debra Kasowski
Agreed.
Dr. Allen Lycka
you learn how to duplicate yourself; you learn how to do things more effectively. So, I find that that’s the hardest skill to learn.
Debra Kasowski
Content Marketing is so important. And being able to leverage it in a powerful way, is being able to create evergreen content, so that you can repurpose it, rinse and repeat. Have it come out in different ways and I find it so, marketing is one of my favorite things to talk about next to brainstorming. Because there’s so many ways if we just pay attention to what people are doing, it’s around us all the time for those clues. So, one of my favorite ways to do that these days is I found a new platform that will do a Facebook Live, will do things on YouTube, we’ll do things on LinkedIn, will do everything except shine your shoes and recite Shakespeare at the same time. So, there are platforms that actually help you do this, which I’m still amazed at. So, I’m, I’m shutting down the circuit a little bit and making it faster. So, it’s an amazing world out there were a lot of these things can be done for you. They can and there’s, you know, different systems and things that people set up all the time. I’m always learning and leveraging opportunities of how to create those systems when you put systems and processes and automate things and make makes it a lot easier.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Oh, yeah. And I think people need to realize that technology is either your friend or your enemy based on how you use it. And like today, we had a hell of a time getting into Zoom. Oh, my goodness. It’s like pulling teeth. By to know, there’s always a workaround. And there’s always things you can do. And yes, it took a little bit like five minutes extra, but we were there. You know, there’s always things you can do to make it happen. But I tell you the best tool we have this day is this thing called the phone. Because you phone people and let them know what’s happening while the advanced technology is messing up, with everything else. And I think we have to be more reliant on our old tools rather than our new tools sometimes.
Debra Kasowski
Sometimes.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Yeah. You’re a coach. What do you coach about?
Debra Kasowski
So, a lot of our/my focus is helping people mindset wise, to really get their head in the game to go after where they want to be. They often say, you know, Debra, I’ve tried many things. And I can’t get myself focused on where I want to go. So, there’s times that we’re doing some mindset work, where everything starts with getting a clear picture of what it is you truly want. So, I kind of do an assessment, we do a discovery conversation to see what it is that the person wants. Because with coaching, it’s not coach led. It is the coachee is the person who comes with the agenda of what they want to work on. Where, how we develop the plan. I work with people strengths and see what is the direction that they want to go. I don’t have to be in the same industry as you. One of the greatest things that I’ve learned by working with people of different, different business backgrounds. I’ve worked with a swim coach, I’ve worked with psychologists, I’ve worked with real estate agents, financial planners, businesspeople. So, what it is, is we’re all human. And it comes down to a lot of where our focus is our discipline is our habits to build that accountability into that action.
Dr. Allen Lycka
I want people to understand what a coach does because big misconception that you’re going to get the coach and the coach is going to do the work for you. That the coach is the person that really is the person that’s going to do it. My answer to that is no, the coach is going to bring out the best in you. So, in other words, when Tiger Woods who used to be the world’s best golfer at one time, went to a coach, it was not for the, for the coach to hit the ball. It was not the coach that was going to win all these wonderful events. It was the coach that was to get Tiger to win the events. And it’s the same thing about other things in life, when you have a coach, the coach is really there to bring out the best in you. Right?
Debra Kasowski
Yes, and I will challenge challenging, especially when you tell me that you’re not able to do something. And I’ve seen you demonstrate it other places. And I’ll hold you accountable and raise you to a higher standard than you raise yourself, basically, is what it comes down to. A coach asks powerful questions to get you really thinking and reflecting on what you can do versus what you can’t do.
Dr. Allen Lycka
And I think a coach can sometimes be irritating sometimes it can be times they can be, say things you don’t like
Debra Kasowski
Yeah
Dr. Allen Lycka
But it’s not because they’re trying to hurt you. It’s because they’re trying to help you. And I think those are parts of the coaching aspects that people have to realize. Coaching is not always easy. It’s not always a catwalk, so to speak. It’s not always something that’s going to be just a freeline to success. Quite often, when you’re going through success, you go through a zigzag pattern, that you go up, you go down, you go up, you go down. And it’s partly because of the way life is. Life is never a straight line.
Debra Kasowski
And I think also, there’s a pattern of disruption. Right? What happens is there’s what we call in coaching, rate of tension. And when this tension builds up, or there’s this disruption in our lives, we need to develop new skills, improve skills, so that we can get back to a place of harmony. That disruption is where we gain our greatest gifts. When people make a, put their stake in the ground and make a declaration on a goal or dream. The next thing that happens is that roadblocks and obstacles show up, they’re testing you to see if you really want it. Right?
Dr. Allen Lycka
But you know, it’s the struggles that make us better. Not the clear path. I mean, if we were all successes all the time at everything we did, you wouldn’t probably have a happy life at all. It’s the struggles, it’s the testing, it’s the path along the way that truly makes it a better place.
Debra Kasowski
And it’s the victory when you push through that and get to the other side and say whew hope I made it through this one. The next thing you know, there’s another one.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Exactly. And that’s the way life is it’s always about struggle. And it’s about successes, too. There’s the flip side of that, but you can’t have victory unless you have failure. You just can’t.
Debra Kasowski
No, no because you know, we have to fail so many times, I think of the Olympic athletes, right? You’re training and training for years for maybe a 30 second moment, to be the best in the world. Every single day. You’re tweaking and trying and testing new things. Same thing with living every single day, you’re becoming a better version of yourself, what you learned about yourself the day before two hours ago, even what you learned this morning, you’re not the same person as you were this morning, you’re continuously evolving. One thing that I do notice though, Allen is that people don’t give them themselves the grace, to realize that part of the, part of the process is the fall. part of the process is making the mistakes so that you can learn from it.
Dr. Allen Lycka
And I think the biggest problem is people don’t realize this, you have to become vulnerable or allow yourself to be vulnerable to be a success. You know, it just doesn’t happen if you don’t allow yourself to become vulnerable.
Debra Kasowski
Vulnerability is so important. And it’s the courage to step up and keep going. It’s the bravery, of being saying, you know what, I’m going to go again, I’m going to go again, I’m going to go again, imagine if Thomas Edison stopped working on the light bulb, you know like ….
Dr. Allen Lycka
You know that there’s a big problem right now, Debra, it’s that there’s this fear that’s out there right now. I mean, it’s everywhere. There’s this virus that’s going around the world. And it’s a scary virus because people are dying in it. And huge amounts of people are dying with nuts a little bit. And the problem is we don’t know who’s going to get the virus and become really badly sick and we don’t know even who’s transmitting it, because people are transmitting at who don’t have any symptoms. So, there’s an what this has done is caused government to make people social isolate, which has caused the economies of most of the vested powers of the world, all of a suddenly get crump and go down the toilet. So, there’s fear 50% of people are unemployed, right now.
Debra Kasowski
Yes, yeah. And one of the things I think people have to realize, you know, and I was taking a course on mind control. And it was very interesting, the professor was talking about how our, our brains are made for acute stress, right? That amygdala hijack, you go into that fight or flight response. And now that we’re like, 9,10 weeks in, we’re going into chronic stress. And that threat in our lives has not gone away. Right, you hear COVID, this, you hear this virus, this you see tape on the floor, telling you which way you should be going down in aisle in a store people wearing masks, the threat is around you all around. And now all of us face stress and anxiety at different levels. But now we need to get to a place of not seeing it as a threat. And I don’t know how possible that is when people go into chronic stress. So, I think it’s so important right now, that when people are like physical distancing versus social isolation, unless you have to isolate with symptoms, you know, but doing those basic hand washing, connecting with people with technology, to maintain eye contact, when you go to the store, like I even see people avoiding eye contact, they don’t want to look at somebody while they walk down the aisle like, it doesn’t come from your eyes, you know,
Dr. Allen Lycka
You know, I and I’m at a high-risk group. So, I wear a mask when I’m out, I do. I wash myself hands 1000 times a day. And I do try to stay away from people as much as possible. I certainly would not go into a Costco store in this day and age, with the thousands of people that are in there and things like that. But each has to do their own path. But I think you have to be smart about this virus, it is a very real threat. But at the same time, I think the fear that we have is greater than the event itself. I think what we’ve done is because the messaging has been so drastic, I think people have become too fearful. And I think at the same time, we have to plow ahead, we have to do things. And that’s why I really like these social networks, we have podcasting and being able to communicate without having to be in big groups right now.
Debra Kasowski
Yeah, podcasting is huge, more people are listening to podcasts, or watching YouTube than ever before. If you ask someone, they’re watching more YouTube than television, I usually have the numbers on me, but I don’t have them today. But you can get so much information. And when people start telling me that, you know, Deb, I don’t have the resources to be successful in my field. And I challenge them, I say it’s not about having the most resources, it’s knowing how to leverage the resources you already have in place. During times like this, people are getting very creative with their marketing, they’re coming out to the people versus putting the advertising out to the people, they’re actually showing up in front of people, and having different conversations, having conferences and platforms like this, where they can find them on YouTube and create evergreen content, where people can find the answers that they’re looking for, and get the support that they want. These resources are everywhere. And you can even you know, borrow from others read things. So, people need to minimize those excuses. And at the same time, if you could do anything, what would you do right now, that makes a difference.
Dr. Allen Lycka
I’ve always emphasized that one of the greatest teachers in the world are books, and there’s so much knowledge in books, that if you read a book a day, you would be one of the most educated, knowledgeable people in the planet, in the planet. You know, I think many people do not read enough. I think many people do not use those resources enough for themselves. And I think many people don’t turn to the resources that are easily at their disposal.
Debra Kasowski
They don’t, and I have a library in my office. And I’m always have a book that’s showing up on my doorstep. One of the greatest things is that the reflection after the book, you know, I have a number of friends. They’ll say, oh Deb, I read this book, I read this book. And I said, well, that’s great. Tell me something about the book. And can you tell me also did you implement something from the book? And they are like, implement? What you’re talking about? And I tell them, you know, it’s great to go to conferences. It’s great to read tons of books and unless you’re implementing something that you’re learning, how can you use that content to enrich your life to show up as that that best version of yourself?
Dr. Allen Lycka
Yeah, and I think that’s very true. So, you know, one of the things I’ve been doing for the last four years is writing a book called The Secrets Of Living A Fantastic Life. We’ve covered it on your show as well. It’s finally coming out. We’re doing a virtual launch on June the fifth, every day has been a roller coaster a plethora of little problems I won’t go into, but I tell you, if you want to have some excitement, write a book, and self-publish it. There are enough things can go wrong will go wrong. It’s definitely a given. Our most recent hiccup was we’ve got the USBN number and so on. And then my publicist says, Do you have a library of congress number? Do you know what a library of congress number is Debra?
Debra Kasowski
Your ISDN number?
Dr. Allen Lycka
No, no, it’s a different number. A Library of Congress number is the number they give to all libraries in the United States.
Debra Kasowski
Yes, yes
Dr. Allen Lycka
Another number that came out of nowhere, and so on. And then did you know that the cover your entire book has to be in certain dimensions to get it loaded up into amazon.com. If it’s .1 of a centimeter off, they won’t accept it. So little things, make all the difference in writing a book. Yeah, I was very lucky, I had a team do that for me. Yeah. And I’ve had a team, I’ve had various parts of the team. But as you see, when you’re managing by a team, various people do things. And then they forget, somebody else did something else. And so then little parts of it start to fall apart. And it’s been interesting managing it. I’m glad I’ve got a core of two people that keep it all going and keep that ball of the air. Because every day has been keeping the ball in the air, we get forward. And it’s been an exciting time. But my book is basically on motivation. It’s basically on 13 Golden pearls that that I found as a result of my trauma in my life, when I was told I was going to die in 2003 and had six months to live. So, I changed my life. And I found golden pearls to live by. And those golden pearls that we found 13 Golden pearls of empowerment, that act like a necklace really to empower people. And I know you’ve been, you have your own golden pearls, so to speak metaphorical golden pearls that you’d like to share with a person. So, if you’re going to share one golden pearl with people today, what would that be Debra?
Debra Kasowski
Well, one of my golden pearls would be stay true to yourself. Trust yourself. There’s been times in my life where I gave away power because I thought someone knew better what my needs were than my own. And it, when I saw what I had given away that power, because you know, when you’re taking 100% responsibility, you’re not blaming and complaining. Because if I started doing that, and pointing at others, there’s three fingers pointing back at me. I realized that I needed to learn how to trust myself again, to realize I have everything that I needed. And that’s I think that’s part of what led me into coaching is really being able to not only trust myself and trust others in the process, is being able to step into who you need to be and trusting that everything’s going to fall into place and detaching from the outcome. Because it often is way better than you ever expected.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Absolutely. So, my golden pearl is it’s not what happens to you, It’s what you do with what happens. And I’d like to emphasize that to people, quite often when something happens to you, you assume a victim mentality. Oh, whoa, owes me all pity me, please help me. And that’s the strongest you can get. And I think you need to rise above that emotion. Remember, it’s not what happens to you, It’s what you do with what happens if you’re given lemons, you can make lemonade. You don’t have to stick with lemons. You know, if you go through a devastating thing in your life, you can change it. If you go through a divorce, guess what? There’s still life after divorce. If you go through a bad situation where you’ve been abused, there’s life after abuse. If you go through a situation where you’re not in a good job, there are other jobs and other lives out there. You know, it’s changing and having the courage to change. Isn’t that right, Debra?
Debra Kasowski
It is and it takes courage. And, you know, been through a number of different scenarios, some that stand out more than others. Some of those bumps in the road are smaller. But the ones that were most significant took, took some time. But I realized that the tenacity grew, my enthusiasm for life grew, my energy for life grew. Because as you step into who you are, and you face those challenges, and you’re vulnerable, and you pull on your courage, that when you move beyond comfort, that’s where the magic happens. That’s when you really feel true to yourself and feel free just to be who you are. It’s about being and not just doing all the time.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Yeah, so my coauthor, Harriet Tinka, a beautiful black lady that went through an act of absolute violence when she was kidnapped, stabbed, and left for dead. She calls it when she learned about this she basically had to learn to walk again, after she was stabbed. She was a beautiful model, walking the runways of New York and all of a sudden couldn’t walk. So, she calls it from tragic to magic. And I love those words because that’s exactly what it’s all about. And I challenge everybody tragic to magic, make your life from tragic to magic. And I also ask you along the path is to pay it forward, give something to somebody else that you wouldn’t have done today. Get out there and do something for somebody, because there’s so much that has to be done today. That’s crazy. Maybe your neighbor is locked in and can’t get their groceries, maybe they need some help in some way. But they’re not going to reach out themselves. Maybe you can just make their day and just say, hey, how’s things going? You know, just reach out a little bit. And I’m finding, we’re seeing more of that Debra right now. I’m finding people are doing that. But you know, it’s the small things that make the difference, the baby steps.
Debra Kasowski
Mm hmm. I find whenever I get in a funk, the first thing I tell myself is who am I, who can I help. Because we all have days that we don’t feel the full energy that we normally do. And it could be that we’ve paid attention to too much television, it could be that we watched a movie that had a lot of negative viewpoints of the world and it can suck us in we don’t realize what influences around us, it can be a conversation that you’ve got caught up in, and it gets you thinking and feeling differently. And your actions match that. So, in order to shake things up, I recommend like you said, you know, reach out to other people do something, I went to the dollar store and made baskets of, you know, beverage basket for the part patio, or you can have a gardening basket for someone and drop them off. To really make a difference. When you get out of focusing on yourself and focusing on others. It can really change your state.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Okay, well, we’re going to have to wrap this up. Debra I could talk to you for another hour easily. But I want everybody to have the opportunity to find out how they can meet you and get it get to know you a little bit better.
Debra Kasowski
Absolutely, they can go over to wwwdebrakasowski.com. And if you put in your email, you’ll be able to get our success secrets biweekly newsletter. But also, by doing that, you will get a three-part mini course that’s absolutely free that helps you build habits that stick get that focus and consistency in place so that you can knock those goals and dreams out of the park and make them a reality. I’m also on social media channels, as well as the YouTube channel and the podcast, The Millionaire Woman Show.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Yeah, and check it out. I really have to emphasize this lady is amazing. She’s got so much knowledge there that she can help everyone so please check her out. I’m Dr. Allen Lycka. This is The Secrets Of Having A Fantastic Life Show. I would like to give you something special for being our guest today. If you could text the word golden pearls, pearls with an ‘S’ to 1-819-717-2515, 1-819-717-2515. You don’t have to remember that. It’ll be in the show notes. I will send you a golden pearl a week for the next 52 weeks so you can learn things. If you’d like to know more about my book, go to fantasticlifebook.com check it out there. It’s not quite ready yet, but it’ll be up very soon. June the fifth is the date when it hits the stands. And I’m sure you’re going to love it. Check it out. Thank you, Debra, thank you for being an amazing guest.
Debra Kasowski
Thank you so much for having me. Allen it was a pleasure.
Dr. Allen Lycka
It was a great day. Thank you have a great day.