S2E3: Patient to Practitioner: Helping Anyone Do Anything: Lifeology with James Miller

Having a healthy life—personally, professionally and spiritually can be a daunting task, but James Miller, producer of Lifeology takes us through how to develop a mindset to take this on. We are all self-made, so how we create ourselves has everything to do with our views and slowing down long enough to explore it’s many faces. Today we talk with James about his views on how we can live a more fantastic life, exploring his golden pearls.

Guest Bio

James Miller is the executive producer and host of the nationally broadcasted and syndicated radio show: James Miller Lifeology. James is a licensed psychotherapist and piano composer who has been in the mental health field for over 20 years. After 14 years in private practice, James left his successful practice in the Washington, DC area and created James Miller Lifeology where he globally helps people simplify and transform their spirit, mind, and body.

Social media links for James Miller:

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/jamesmillerlifeologyInstagram
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/jamesmillerlifeology/
LinkedIn –  https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-miller-lifeology/
YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZQRshCljom4ZxOXCuW3EzA
Twitter – https://twitter.com/JamesMLifeology
Website – https://www.jamesmillerlifeology.com/

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Transcript

Dr. Allen Lycka
I’m Dr. Allen Lycka. And today, I have a real amazing guy by the name of James Miller. He, he’s the executive producer and host of the nationally broadcasted and syndicated radio show Lifeology. And I had the pleasure of being on his show, not too long ago. He’s a licensed psychotherapist and a piano composer, who has been in the mental health industry for over 20 years. After 14 years in private practice, and he left his successful practice and Washington, DC. And created the James Miller Lifeology Show where he globally helps people amplify and transform their spirit, mind, and body.
Well, thank you for being on the show today, James.
James S Miller
That was quite an intro, I appreciate that.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Wow.
James S Miller
I’m like I want to meet this person.
Dr. Allen Lycka
You know, I always say when people read my intro. I said well, really, I haven’t passed yet.  Don’t say so many nice things about me.
James S Miller
It’s like an obituary.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Like an obituary. Well, you have a unique background, an approach, to help people.  How did you get into what you do and how did you develop this approach?
James S Miller
That’s an interesting question.  I’ve talked about this on a couple of other shows. When I was 18 years old, I was actually 17 years old, I was going through a lot of teenage angst and it had some depression. And I was actually hospitalized for a couple of days. And when I was in there, I remember and, of course, I didn’t know anything about mental health, but when I was in there, I was like, these people aren’t doing their job. And so, in that moment, I made a vow and said, if I can do anything to help anybody, I’m going to do it. So, fast forward. Four years later, I go to university. I graduated with a psychology a psychology degree, and then from there, I ended up working as a psych tech, Where I would go to different hospitals. And I would kind of just oversee the environment and making sure everything was safe.  And I was assigned to this one hospital and I walked into the hospital and was like, oh, my gosh, I was actually in the same hospital, the same unit in the same room of where I made that vow. And so, it was a really powerful. Just a really powerful moment for me to go from a patient there, to all of a sudden, I’m on the other side, and it was so spiritual for me that it created this, this platform for me to say, I want to continue to help people. And, so, from there, just continue to build, and build, and build until I was finally in private practice in DC, and then closed all that. And now have the new iteration of who I am and what I’m doing with, with Lifeology.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Well, that’s quite a transition. To go from being a doctor, seeing patients one-on-one, and then getting into the screened presence, of releasing so much more, and doing so much more. You know, the thing I find as I’ve transitioned from being a doctor, that would do one-on-one is that there’s so much more people that I can influence. It’s like putting what I did on steroids and really taking it to a bigger world you know?
And, and I find that, that’s the most amazing thing about, this is how….
James S Miller
You know Dr. Lycka, Like, when, I was when I was in private practice, just like you said, I loved it. I had some, I had some phenomenal patients. And they were, fantastic, But I found that, after awhile, I personally wasn’t being fulfilled.  A little bit more about my background was when I was younger, I was in a lot of the entertainment industry. I was in television film, commercials, live performances I did all of that. And so, the linkage between the two was for me to be able to take my psychology and my entertainment and transition to who I am today. But what I found while I was in practice was, I wasn’t overall fulfilled and so with that, I wanted to say, well, how can I help more people? How can I link together all of my gifts and how can I connect all of them, so therefore I am able to reach a broader audience and so that’s how one reason how Lifeology was created.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Wow, that’s great. And you know, if people haven’t visited your platforms, they should because I mean, you’ve created literally thousands of shows in a fairly short period of time. You’ve really taken what you’ve had and use your gifts to really help a lot of people that way now.
James S Miller
Thank you.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Show you have a particular focus, let’s talk about your focus and the uniqueness you bring to this.
James S Miller
But one of the things I really focus on is, just like you said, your spirit, mind and body, and now, that’s not from a religious standpoint.
That’s just simply a way of how you can live a fulfilled overall balanced life. And that’s one thing I really think is important.  Because if I’m too, let’s say, to spiritual. So, my head in the clouds, and I can’t have a conversation with someone who’s more of a scientist or more logically based, well, unfortunately, that’s just not balanced, or if I’m too much at the gym, like a meathead, no offense to people who I’m trying to talk to someone else who has a completely different mindset, they’re not going to understand.
So, the way I really help people look at their life is how do you create all aspects of your life and and successfully intertwined them together to be the most successful, healthy version of yourself. And so, on my show, I have all different amazing people like yourself. And Harriet Tinka, your co-author, who will also be on my show soon going to have all these different types of individuals who give us that insight of how to be able to actualize that, or how to be able to accomplish that. The word Lifeology is actually a literary term. The term basically means it’s the study of life. But what they did was they conceptualized it in a way that we’re all self-made people. So, we can see the really successful people that we know like Bill Gates or Steve Jobs, people like that, but we don’t realize that we’re also self-made. The choices we make today are the foundation for the choices in the next moment and the next moment and the next moment. So, I really help people say, well, let me slow down my life and say, well, what’s my motivation for doing what I’m doing? Or how can I have a healthier lifestyle? How can I have a healthier mindset? How can I have a healthier spirituality? And so, I have a wonderful guests who have all these different expertise. And some people who don’t have an expertise, but just have a story they want to tell that can inspire us. Because you remember, some people may hear me and be like, oh, I want to do what James does, or they can hear what I’ve done. Well, I don’t want to do what James says, that’s a good reminder not to do that, and so, with that, we all, as a community that my listeners will grow together. And there’s what’s called synergy, so synergy is the energy that people bring together, and it creates a bigger and more and more energy and people get excited to change. And so that’s been one of the beautiful things about my show and what I’ve really enjoyed is getting to work with so many people, meeting new people, and not only helping them grow, but also helping myself grow as well.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Well, yeah. And you know, the basics of my book, The Secrets To Living A Fantastic Life has one principle. And that is, it’s not what happens to you, it’s what you do with what happens. And, I think that’s really an important concept of what happens in your show. And you really bring out the stories of people that really embody that philosophy, you know, because truly, you know, I wish, we were always in the driver’s seat and always in control. Like, you know, even when we’re not, there still are aspects. We can control and still things we can do. And one of the things we can control is attitude. Attitude is something that we bring to the table every day. Another one is tenaciousness or tenacity. You know that is a state that I think people have to bring all the time. It’s persistence, it’s working at things, It’s not letting the first no become your destiny. Because there’s always no’s there’s always things that are going to defeat us. There are always things. And I look at Thomas Elvis to Thomas Edison when he was trying to invent the light bulb. And every time he’d fail, he said that. I didn’t fail. That’s just another way that won’t work. So, that’s how you have to frame things in life. You’re an active guy, you work, you work hard on your body, but you don’t stop with the first thing you do.
James S Miller
True. It’s, you know, one thing that psychology, we teach that, whatever you perceive to be true. In other words, whatever your perception is, whatever your belief system is, determines what you feel. What you feel then determines what your body does. So, that’s the same type of thing. If I perceive something just like Thomas Edison, if I perceive something is not a, failure well then that changes my emotion to say, oh OK, well I still have confidence that I can do this. Which then allows my body to be able to do the next thing I need to do. It’s the same thing when it comes to the tenacity or your attitude. All of that has to do with how you’ve used something. What I always tell people is, is think of a situation, like a dice, you know like cube. So, when look at that cube, if you continually look at the cube the same way, well, then you’re gonna feel the same thing, and do the same thing. So, if you want a different response, imagine how you would slightly turn that cube to look at maybe a different side, or maybe a different angle, and in that you’re going to see the situation. Your belief system is going to slightly change. So hmm, what if what I’m thinking, isn’t 100% true, or what if what I what I saw maybe that wasn’t really 100% true. So, when you can slowly start to recognize that we don’t have to be so staunch in our belief system when it comes to something. Then that opens up the door for questions and for questioning what we believe and in that, that’s when we start to understand the world in a slightly different way. Which slowly changes are our emotions, which then changes how we show up in the world.
Dr. Allen Lycka
And I want to dwell on that for a second because that I think is the secret to our success. Yours and mine. You know, we allow ourselves to get into situations where we’re vulnerable. We allow ourselves to get in a situation where we’re not totally in control. We allow ourselves to get into those situations that really are hard because you know, you’re control guy, I’m a control guy, that’s part of what guys are I think and many things, but, but it’s a vulnerability that literally allows us to happen. You know you have to a lot you know if you want to iterate you have to put all the marbles on the line. You have to risk losing that race.
James S Miller
Sure I do
Dr. Allen Lycka
Yeah.
James S Miller
Because if you don’t do it, you don’t try it.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Exactly, but that’s the secret really of success, it’s allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Now, I want you to go back to when you started Lifeology for a minute and, and how scary it was. Because you didn’t have the technical skills to pull it off. You didn’t know Skype, like, you know it today, you didn’t know, all, these platforms like you know it today, you didn’t understand, you know, the Internet was still more fragile then more primitive then and, you know, it’s still primitive now for many days because I know what I get on it, it’s a dog’s breakfast some days but, but the point is, you know, you were willing to take that chance to get to where you are now.
James S Miller
Yeah, I had a lot of people who, who found out what I was doing is I have two versions of this. I had one person who found out what I was doing, and he was a friend of a friend. He’s like, James, why would you do something like that? You don’t have anything to, what is his exact words, or why would you do that? You don’t have anything to say, why would people listen to you? I remember, I heard that, and I was like, wait, what? And in that moment, I remember I had the opportunity, just like that cube that I talked about earlier. I had a moment to say, was he right or was he wrong? And I was like, no, he is not right. I have something that I have something to offer, I have something to give, and whether anybody who listens to it or not, I know within my heart that this is what I’m supposed to do. And then I had other people who were very, very close to me, loving, supportive people who said, James, are you sure you should do that? Because I had all these different accolades and all these different measures of success and my practice. And so, for me to do something new, that was completely new, that I didn’t really know what I was doing. And, moving to a different state, I’m down here in Florida. They were, like, Are you? Sure. And so, I think the lesson for all of us is that, well, meaning people, or even not, so, well, meaning people can be dreams stealers. And so, being aware of the people with whom you tell, if, if you find that they’re not responsive in a way that’s healthy for you, then it is important to create those buffers or those barriers because you want to surround yourself with people who will understand what you’re saying, and who can support you. Doesn’t mean they even know how to do it, but if they can support you emotionally and give you that extra boost that then creates the impetus in the synergy for you to be able to say, yes, I can do this. But going back to that.
Dr Allen Lycka
Well, let’s dwell on that a little bit for just a second. Just a tiny little second.
Now, still, even though these naysayers were there, even though, they were saying, you can’t do it. You still had it in yourself to say, I’m going to give it a try. Maybe I’ll fail, maybe, maybe they’re right. But you still saw it yourself that I’m going to do it. Tell me about that for a minute.
James S Miller
My mom always loves to tell a story. When I was four years old, I was out of roller-skating rink.  I’ve never roller skated before my life. So, she put the roller skates on me, I went up and down the little aisle there where you put your shoes on. And then the next thing I know there’s a race, and so I was like, I’m gonna do this. So, I ran out there in the race, started, I didn’t had no idea what I was doing. I went around, I won the race, and I kept going in circles around, and it’s just because I didn’t know how to stop. That just kind of my personality and in a sense I guess I’ve been blessed with that.
And if I don’t know how to do something, well, then I’ll figure out how to do it. And so now I don’t say that with any hubris or any arrogance is just simply, I research. I’m a researcher and I will learn something and teach myself something until I’m proficient at it and then pretty soon the proficiency becomes more closer to to an expert if you will. So that was something where I was like, OK. I don’t know if I can do this or not in the sense of I don’t know, 100% of what Lifeology looks like. But I do know that I’ve interviewed people for years when it comes to counseling.
Literally, when I have a patient in front of me, I’m interviewing them, and so I took that together and took that, and I took all my, my entertainment skills and TV stuff that I’ve done, and so I kind of put it together to say, I don’t know how Lifeology is going to look. But I know these are the platforms of how, how it can merge it together. And then I said, Well, I don’t want to live in DC anymore. Why am I going to pay all these DC prices? When I’m not really enjoying it here? So, I had a friend who said, James, why don’t you come down to Palm Beach? And so, I was like, Sure.  So, it came down here.  And absolutely loved it. It has been perfect, And I’ve been here ever since. And so, with that, as I kind of took some time, probably about 3 to 4 months, to say, what does this look like? But going back to your question of, am I going to fail?  Or how did I do it? I want people to understand that, because often they see us on the far side of our success and like, Oh. James is successful, or doctor like a successful, however that may look, but they don’t realize for me there are times when I was like, oh my gosh, I’d be up in the middle of the night and not being able to sleep, like, I gave up, all this, this, this, this version of success or this, or that.
I don’t really know anybody here.  What am I going to do, and in that moment, that’s when you have to really say are you committed or you’re not committed? Yes.  You can have fears, but you’re gonna figure it out.
Yes.  You know that things are not as smooth as it may have been in your past, when it came to your practice and all that, but you will figure that out and, and with that, and for me, I have a strong faith in God, and with that, every moment, every opportunity. Even today, every opportunity I’ve had, I have not sought it. I’ve prepared myself for it and that door has opened and so, when as soon as I’ve been prepared, that door opens for me. I walk through it, and I do more preparation, and that door keeps opening.
So, I truly attribute my success to God, and the sense of, I believe that we do.
We do all the hard work and when that hard work is ready to go to the next level, that opportunity arises. So, call it serendipity, call it. Call it whatever you like, but for me, that’s just kind of how it rolled out for me.
Dr. Allen Lycka
But, you know, we have a certain idea on how Lifeology is going to be. But, you know, every show that you do is different. You know, we had to be on Lifeology three times, because each time Skype failed us, till we got to the point that it did work. The point is that you have to be comfortable in the fact that there are going to be problems along the way.
Dr. Allen Lycka
You’re going to overcome those. No matter what, might not be here and now it might not be just this second but they are all overcomeable with the right attitude, with the right, preparation, with the right mindset.  You’re going to overcome it. Now that’s not just magic thinking. It’s not like the secret you’re going to think it’s going to come true. Yeah, it’s really comes about I’m going to think I’m going to do it. I’m going to modify it; I’m going to modify it again. And in fact, your Lifeology show is constantly being tested with new ideas with new things with new people coming got and new ways of doing things. And that’s what allows growth to occur and that is what allows the beauty of things like this.  It’s not a finished product. It will never be a finished product, because, things keep getting better and better and better.
James S Miller
It’s funny, I listened to the first couple of episodes and felt like an amateur.
You know, just the affectations and how I presented, it was a learning process and I know today, when I hear this show, years later, I tell myself I have grown. But there are aspects when I first started, when it came to the editing of my show it took me probably 12 hours because I am a perfectionist. Believe it or not, but 12 hours to really edit a 20, 30-minute interview was crazy. I thought there’s gotta be an easier way. And so, I finally figured out it’s OK to have some of these 30-minute natural stuttering or natural breaths, or whatever it may be. It doesn’t have to be so perfect. And once I let that go, now it takes me 30 minutes. So even now, I mean, I still edit myself.
Dr. Allen Lycka
It’s hard to figure out your own style, and tweak your own as being a perfectionist is hard. It really is hard, because you can never be perfect enough. You can never do everything just, right. It doesn’t happen that way.
Life isn’t meant to be perfect, but you have to be at a certain level that you’re comfortable enough to say, Good is good enough.
That’s where I’m at. And that’s where I’m going to leave it today.
James S Miller
And that’s, you know, given piggybacking off of that when I would kind of reflect on my show and the growth of the show. I do look back to say, well, James, look how far you’ve come. Because I first started on YouTube, and the way it worked was I wanted to practice my speaking skills again or practice how it was, how I was on camera. And so, I did, I think, for six months, I did an episode every single day practicing things, and I really didn’t, it would be every nice if people watch it, but I didn’t really care if they watch it because my goal was to go towards television.
So, I went to from YouTube to a podcast to radio show, and now actually my TV show, which will probably get that in a minute. We’ll be filming in the next couple of weeks, actually. So, with that, that’s my whole goal is to move there. So that was, when I started, my goal was to move towards television.
So, five years later, I’m actualizing the television aspect of it, and so that was it. But I knew there’s a methodical step with that. So, each version of how Lifeology was created, I did my best to learn every, the nuances of it, to be able to say, well, if I’m a perfectionist here, this is my new 100%. This is what this looks like, this is what this looks like. But when I do reflect on the previous versions of it, or previous episodes, or whatever it may be, I do say, James, I’m really proud of you right now. You’ve come a really long way, and then that that’s that really excites me. Because if I can look back and see how far I’ve come, that just means how much further I’m going to go.  And I think that’s something that we all forget. Sometimes we get stuck in the moment. You forget, well, let’s reflect on where you were, where were you before? And when you can create that juxtaposition or that comparison, you will see that you’ve probably have a lot more personal growth than you realize.  And if you’re not happy with that personal growth. And that’s now an opportunity to say, well, if I want to move a little bit further than I am today, what do I need to do to inspire myself, to create that the actionable plan, to be able to get myself to where I want to be?
Dr Allen Lycka
And I think that’s the key. You have to have an actual plan, but, at the same time, you have to be able to modify that plan has, as life’s juxtaposition and everything else comes at you. The key is adaptability.  The key is everything else. And you know, I have found 13 golden pearls with my co-author and I think many of them are in what you’re saying.
James S Miller
They sure are.
Dr. Allen Lycka
It’s about attitude, it’s about tenacity. It’s about all the little steps along the way that make it there, but, at the other hand, there’s the vulnerability.  And there’s the love that you have for this, because without love there isn’t the passion and without the passion you couldn’t do this for one minute.
James S Miller
That’s you.  Yeah. You know, I’m sure with you as well. Like I do, four back-to-back shows, and if I don’t to have a passion for it after the second, a second, so I’m like, Oh, My gosh. So, I really have to make sure that before I do anything that’s has to do with Lifeology. I really do a self inventory to say, where are you today? You know, if you are struggling with something, is that relevant right now? You can still deal with that later; we’re not going to ignore it but that’s not relevant right now. So, let’s really focused on what is relevant right now, let’s compartmentalize things to focus on.  This is what I need to do.  Let’s get yourself focus let’s get excited about what you love to do and in that that’s where I do find the energy to be able to be productive and to be able to do multiple shows in a row.
Dr. Allen Lycka
And that’s what I find I have to do. I find Tuesdays are my busy workday.
I do several shows on a day like today, so I’ll do three of my SLAFL shows and I’ll do two of my other podcasts. So, my day started today at 7 AM, and that’s going now, but it’s a great day or a day, full of energy, and power, and passion. So, I love days like today that I could do so much, and, certainly, along the way, there has been enough ups and downs and everything else, but it’s the passion we bring to the show, it’s the passion we bring to the moment. It’s the passion, we bring to our people out there, so that they can take it away and interject it into their souls and use it to motivate themselves to that next level. Because that’s what we want them to do.
Have the best world that they can, get to the next level. There’s so much down right out. As you know, there’s so many people that are down right now, so many people that are hurting, and what do you say to them, and in this world, what can you say to motivate them, in maybe a sentence, or so?
James S Miller
If you feel a certain way right now, your circumstances may be different. But when did you feel this way before? And so, let’s say, I’m feeling lonely right now. When did I feel lonely before? And so, when I reflect back on different times in my life, when I felt lonely, then I can say, well, what did I do that that helped me not feel lonely anymore?  That’s healthy.
And what did I do that did not help me not feel this way anymore?
So, we have our own personal data of things that have worked, and things that have not worked. So, if you don’t have anyone around you, or people to encourage you, you can go back in your own life and say, when did I feel this way? Once again, the circumstances may be different. But the feeling is the same and if the feelings are the same. You know what works for you, and, you know, it doesn’t work, and so with that, I would just encourage each person listening to this.  If you’re feeling a certain way, reflect, on when you felt this before, and what did you do that works, that was healthy for you.
Dr Allen Lycka
Exactly. I think those are keywords now. This show is The Secrets To Living A Fantastic Life. What do you do in your life to make it a fantastic life, James Miller?
James S Miller
I always tell people how you start your day is indicative of how your day’s going to go. So, for me, I start my morning with my spirituality, so with that, I have my prayer and meditation. I go for a mindful walk with my dog. I start every single day that way. Because I know for me, not only does it create structure, but it creates inspiration for me. So, for me to live a fantastic successful life, that is how I start my day. And then if my schedule allows then I’ll go to the gym which I work on my body, and then the rest of the day is for my mind but my spirit is always the first part. But then, the mind and body may work itself differently, depending on my schedule.
But that’s how I live a fantastic life.  Or a successful life because I really prioritize what is healthy for me. If I know I have a really busy schedule, I make sure that I do plan in those three things for me somewhere in that day.  Because without that, unfortunately, I will not have self care.
Self care is incredibly important. So that is one thing I’ve learned is, it doesn’t matter how busy you are if you don’t plan for self care every day.  And you will find that you do get burnout that you won’t have that, Joy, that passion. So, that’s what I do.  I literally plan out my day.  It’s, it depends on what the schedule looks like, but every morning, an hour before I need to even start my day is when I start my spirituality.  And that’s always been a blessing for me. That’s always really helped me.  In the days that, I haven’t done that, it’s not the best, most productive, efficient day.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Fantastic James that’s fantastic. I’m going to offer all our guests, a special gift right now, and that’s I’d like everybody to have access to my Golden Pearls. And I’m going to send all our guests, 52 Golden Pearls one a week for the next 52 weeks and all they have to do is text be the words, Golden Pearls,  two separate words. Golden Pearls, the second word with an “S” to 1.819.717.2515 that’s 1.819.717.2515, because I would like you to have a special day too, those Golden Pearls will help reshape your mind and help you have a better day. James, how can they get in touch with you and all the wonderful things that you have to offer?
James S Miller
Thank you so much. I appreciate that. Simply go to www.JamesMiller.com and you can see the radio show, you can see everything there. But I most active on Instagram @JamesMillerLifeology. So, simple, you can reach out to me there or like I said, go to my website, you can hear my radio show and pretty much everywhere in the world.  And once again, there are, like I said, go to my website, you can hear my radio show and pretty much, and everywhere in the world. And that, once again, is called James Miller Lifeology.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Fantastic, James well thank you very much for being part of our show today. It really is a pleasure to have you. When I saw you were on my schedule of things today Pearls, two – I said, oh my gosh it’s going to be a wonderful day.
James S Miller
Thank you so much. I really appreciate you inviting me.
Dr Allen Lycka
Thank you, James.