E10: Flipping Your Internal Script to Live the Life You Are Meant For
Today we deep dive with Ilyse Rothman on how to recognize, release and re-story, our lives. And what that means is, first, we have to recognize who we are in relationship to what’s happening in the world around us. Ilyse will help us analyze our perspective, and talk to us about how we are looking at the reality we are the “star” of. Let’s learn together from her some ideas on how we can look at this world, and what it means for us as we speak into it too. We can’t wait to learn more about her unique perspective!
Guest Bio
Ilyse Rothman is here to help individuals and families reveal their limiting beliefs and the subconscious script that influence and define one’s behavior, health, relationships and performance.
As a Mindset Architect, Visionary Founder of Flip Your Script Coaching, children’s book author, host and speaker Ilyse taps into her intuitive gifts to enlighten those who are ready to recognize, release & re-story the internal linguistic habits that have been holding them from living their best lives as happy, healthy well-beings.
The stories we tell ourselves inside our own minds everyday have a lot of sway in how we write/create the next chapters of our personal & professional lives. Being able to shift your perspective from “waiting to creating” is the vital pivot we need to tap into our own power.
Social media links for Ilyse Rothman:
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/yumlifeus/
Twitter https://twitter.com/YUMLifeUS
LinkedIn – https://bit.ly/2KAQfd6
Website – http://www.ilyserothman.com/
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Dr. Allen Lycka
Dr. Allen Lycka here and I’d like to welcome you to How To Live A Fantastic Life Show. Where we’ll be discussing the important aspects of your life. We hope to inspire you to live the best life you can. Get out of your comfort zone and explore the awesome world around you. Break through your barriers. Take inspired action, use the difficulties in your life to achieve the best version of you. Hi, I’m Dr. Allen Lycka and I’m here on the next episode of How To Live A Fantastic Life. I have a very special guest by the name of Ilyse Rothman and she’s here to help individuals and families reveal their limiting beliefs and their subconscious script that influence and defines one’s behavior help relationships and performance. As a mindset architect, visionary founder of Flip Your Script Coaching, children’s book author, host, and speaker, Ilyse taps into her intuitive gifts to enlighten those who are ready to recognize, release and re-story the internal linguistic habits that have been holding them from living the best lives as happy, healthy well beings. The stories we tell ourselves inside our minds every day have a lot of sway at how we write, create the next chapters of our personal and professional lives. Being able to shift your perspective from waiting to creating is the pivotal element we need to tap into to own our power. Ilyse, what do you do to own your power?
Ilyse Rothman
Wow, that’s a big question Barry. First of all, how are you?
Dr. Allen Lycka
I am fantastic. I mean, who couldn’t be fantastic. It’s a sunny day. It’s beautiful. We’re above zero in Edmonton and it’s December. So, what else can you say?
Ilyse Rothman
Exactly the last time we actually saw each other face to face was in San Diego last year.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Well, it’s hard to believe that San Diego existed just one year ago, because I tell you we have not traveled one lick. I haven’t traveled since March in March. I was in Mexico for a week and then all hell broke loose and here we are.
Ilyse Rothman
You know what I call it? I call it the global plot twist.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Yes, I think it is. It’s definitely a plot twist. And everything’s messed up.
Ilyse Rothman
Well, wait a second, that’s going to tie into the question that you just asked me because that’s definitely a perspective Barry.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Absolutely.
Ilyse Rothman
One can have a perspective of this is very messed up or one can have the perspective of wow, look at the opportunities that I have in this new global climate to redefine who I am as the star in my own show called life.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Yes, exactly. And I’ve been redefining myself for over a year. And I’ve used this opportunity to make a new great me. As you can see by my bulletin board behind me, here, I have my own home office as you do. You know, it’s been a run at wonderful life.
Ilyse Rothman
Listen, this backdrop travels with me everywhere I go. So, you mentioned that you really haven’t since Mexico, you’ve pretty much created your virtual outside world inside. Well, I’m not sure if we had this discussion when we met or not. But did you know that I was with my fiancé and we had been rving all over the country. And that’s how we actually arrived in San Diego in the nick of time to actually speak on the bLU talk stage.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Wow. That’s cool. That’s cool. You know, I know a lot of people have that have used their RV as their mobile office and just broadcast from that wherever they’re traveling across the state.
Ilyse Rothman
Well, listen have backdrop will travel.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Yes. Are you still traveling now?
Ilyse Rothman
So, I happen to be in Florida, which has been my home base prior to traveling all over the country for the past two years. Global plot twist or not. We have been from coast to coast, way up until Maine, back to Florida, all over all over the East Coast during this global plot twist. And right now, we’re in Florida, and are you’re ready for this? Because this is really exciting news Barry. Very cool. Let’s
Dr. Allen Lycka
Cool, let’s hear.
Ilyse Rothman
Are you ready? So, my fiancé and I just bought a motel
Dr. Allen Lycka
A motel?
Ilyse Rothman
On the Weeki Wachee in Florida, which is a very unique spot, and it’s in Florida. So, I’m in Florida right now. And in Florida, we have what we call springs. And these springs are natural springs that stay 72 degrees all year round. Which in Florida when it gets really hot is a huge relief.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Oh, for sure, for sure.
Ilyse Rothman
So, the area that we purchased this beautiful little boutique motel in is on the Weeki Wachee spring canal filled with manatees.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Wow.
Ilyse Rothman
So, we are taking over on December 9, and we are turning it into the Manatee Landing Retreat.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Wow.
Ilyse Rothman
And we are going to invite all of our colleagues and speakers and coaches and anyone who’s creating experiences for their tribe or their clients to come and have a retreat. we are going to open our doors and open the canals in the springs and invite people to come and host the retreats there.
Dr. Allen Lycka
And they can watch the animals play.
Ilyse Rothman
They can swim with them.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Wow. That’s a treat of a lifetime.
Ilyse Rothman
I can’t wait for you to come visit Barry.
Dr. Allen Lycka
I certainly will. As soon as our borders open up, you know we still have this time right now where we’re still having peaks. And we’re deciding it’s a good time to keep our diseases to ourselves on both sides of the border. And as it comes down, I suspect it’s not going to be that guy suspect. By March or April, we’re going to see a lot more happening. You know, the vaccines are just around the corner. They’re just out there. And there’s at least four of them that I know of. So that there’s probably another 40 that I don’t know about that are ready to hit. And this rapid this rapid detection systems are already there. They’re just having a problem with getting them out. You know, I don’t think COVID is going to be a problem with traveling, if you know everybody’s COVID free going on the planes. And so, I think we’re just about there. We’re just having a problem with global distribution right now.
Ilyse Rothman
Yeah, well, that’s true. I have my own personal journey with vaccines. So I’m sort of off the vaccine list. I don’t know if we had this discussion. But when I was 18, I, I was blessed. Now, I say blessed with an autoimmune disease that actually affected my peripheral nerves. It’s called Guillain Barre syndrome. And I was paralyzed.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Yeah, and that’s not a pleasant one. And, you know, did you get that after getting a swine flu vaccine many years ago?
Ilyse Rothman
Well, I don’t recall having a vaccine at the time. So, that’s not necessarily what actually instigated the responsive in my system, my immune system. However, vaccines and I are, we stay away from each other. And it’s and it’s medically recommended.
Dr. Allen Lycka
But again, if we can keep COVID off the face of the earth and keep people away from it. I think the vaccine is a non-issue if people can be safe.
Ilyse Rothman
Yeah. Well, you know, and it’s all perspective. So, you asked me, What was the question you asked me initially? Do you remember?
Dr. Allen Lycka
It was a while ago, but I asked How do you make a great life? How are you making your life great right now?
Ilyse Rothman
Well, I guess I’m answering the question while I’m, sharing my life with you.
Dr. Allen Lycka
You bought a hotel, and you’re turning it into a conference center.
Ilyse Rothman
We’re turning it into this beautiful retreat. So, So you know, here’s a more maybe direct response to your question. When I when I work with individuals and clients and families and I speak, what I do is I, I help people recognize, release and re story, their lives. And what that means is, first, we have to recognize who we are in relationship to what’s happening in the world around us, right? How is our perspective and what we’re looking at actually turning into the reality that we’re the star of right? We’re the star of this reality that we create with, how we look into the world, how we think into the world and how we speak into the world.
Ilyse Rothman
So, the first question I always ask myself, and I have my clients ask themselves, or anybody who actually a conversation like this with me has, doesn’t matter. I’ll ask them, how are you? How are you responding? to what’s happening in your life? Not What is life making you feel? Right? Not? What is this person doing to you that made you feel that way? But how, with your eyes on your own paper? Showing up? How are you responding? Is it bringing up anxiety and fear? Is it bringing up resentment and blame? Is it bringing up anger and frustration? Because I promised you this, if that’s what’s coming up for you in relationship to whatever’s happening in the world. I’m not going to use the S word or the SH word, but it is like that, but that’s what you’ve already had in your cup. that’s already been in you. So, so that’s the first question that I asked myself, and that I would have my clients ask themselves, if they’re feeling stuck in this loop, in the story, that they’re not happy, they’re not happy in the life that they’re actually co creating, right? They’re creating, we all create the lives that we live, I mean, look what you’ve created in a year. Amazing. How many books have you written? I mean, I’m following you. I can’t even keep up Barry. You know,
Dr. Allen Lycka
You know, there’s been so many, you know, I wrote three bestsellers during the Great pandemic, which was pretty phenomenal.
Ilyse Rothman
Pandemic or no pandemic, it’s pretty phenomenal.
Dr. Allen Lycka
And on top of that, I have 17 others. So, these were just the crown on the on all the books I’ve written. And I’ve got two more in the works, of course, so you always have to not be living for today, you got to be living for those other projects. So
Ilyse Rothman
So, can we call them the Lycka Chronicles?
Dr. Allen Lycka
I think that’s what you’ll have to call them. And as I get those done, then of course there, will of course, be a couple more, and a couple more, and a couple more. You know, I think, create your own reality, and you’ve got to stay young. And you’ve got to keep it real, you got to keep it real. And the reality we create is what we live in.
Ilyse Rothman
And it all starts, this is the beautiful thing. I’m the founder of Flip Your Script Coaching something that you mentioned in the bio and, and what does that mean, right? Well, we all have this internal script, right? And a lot of times the internal script is compiled of right, because the script is something that we write the script, right, we rehearse the script, we think a script, every time we share a story with somebody, it’s really a script. And sometimes it’s actually really scripted. How many times have you heard the same story from someone over and over again, and not a whole lot changes in their reality, because the story is constantly the same? So, when we start to recognize that we have this internal script that could be and most often is compiled of a lot of limiting beliefs.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Yeah, and it also not only beliefs, but what we actually see, you know, before I started writing this chapter in my life, I was a cosmetic surgeon. And one thing I was always amazed about is when I made a person look better, and I mean, the pictures would show how much better they looked. A person would not be able to see that. They would actually say you didn’t do anything. And I said, and it was always amazing to me when that happened, because the pictures were definitely showing we had done something. I mean, there was photographic proof, but their limiting beliefs were so strong they couldn’t see what was actually there.
Ilyse Rothman
Exactly. Okay, so you get it. And actually, and that’s a great example, to use, because physical is something that’s that we can tangibly see, it’s a lot easier to see, I work with a lot of chronic individuals who have been struggling with the physiological manifestation of what I call emotional plaque, which leads to chronic pain. Okay, so when we have this emotional plaque buildup, which is old, game changing moments in our life, where we were hurt, or we felt abandoned, or we didn’t recognize our value, or we were told something that was really not aligned with who we really knew we were, but we didn’t know better, because we’re probably under the influence of parental, you know, care, and love. And I had this conversation I was also; I was just on another podcast with Sue DeCaro. And she’s an international parent coach. And we had a great conversation. Because we both work with families, she happens to work with the adults and the inner child, I work with adults, their inner child and their children. So, I kind of get the whole, I get the whole, I get them all together individually, though. And work on helping individuals truly recognize that we matter, and that we have value. And I believe at the root of what you were saying, like somebody you have to create, you have to do this, the truth of the matter is you don’t have to, like we don’t have to do anything. But the key is to recognize that you have a choice.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Exactly, exactly.
Ilyse Rothman
So, it’s not that somebody has to do something. But if they’re not doing something to recognize that they’re choosing not to for some reason.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Yeah. You know, one of the other things I was very well known for is I was blessed with the ability to use lasers to remove scars from people’s body. So, I would get people that were in bad fires, and they were terribly deformed by these fires. But with the beauty of our modern science, we have lasers that actually can reset the chemical structure of the skin, and actually make a person back to almost normal. We can remove these terrible scars, and help people get to the phase they want to be. And again, I’m always I was always overwhelmed with a person that would say, Thank you no, I like my scars, I just want to stay where I’m at. And, you know, there’s a lot of emotional baggage people have with this. Because some people just have a victim mentality, and they can’t look beyond the victim mentality. You know, the poor woe is me. I’m happy where I’m at. And you know, and that’s sad, that’s sad.
Ilyse Rothman
Well, it’s sad to look at, it’s definitely sad as the onlooker as I call it.
Dr. Allen Lycka
And it’s not only the onlooking. It’s what they therefore define their ceiling at, that they don’t want to go any further from where they’re at right now.
Ilyse Rothman
Or maybe, or maybe they don’t know. So, some clients that I work with happen to be at a place in their life, where they’re done what they call done, right. And I always would joke if I was in an intake with somebody who was at that point. And they’d say, I’m just done. And I’m like, we just started. I’m like, we’ve only been chatting for five minutes, and you’re already done talking to me. And they’re like, No, I’m done, done. Like, I want to kill myself, or I’m just ready to, you know, be done with all this. And I said, Well, let me ask you this. And this is a really good question for our listeners to ask themselves and in any in any situation, not such an extreme situation as ready to transition, as I call it. But the question is, are you really done or finished, as my grandmother would say, she goes, apple pies are done, you’re finished?
Dr. Allen Lycka
Exactly.
Ilyse Rothman
So, I always remember that people aren’t done, food is done, we’re finished.
Dr. Allen Lycka
And people define how far they want to go in any situation.
Ilyse Rothman
Absolutely, I want to ask, I’m going to pose this question. Because it’s really, it’s a great question. And I asked myself this too. So, So what are you finished with? Are you really finished with living? Or are you finished with the pain that you have right now while you’re living? Right, let’s get really clear on what it is you’re done with or finished with. And, and of course, the response 99.9% of the time, if not, 100% of the time would be that they’re tired of the pain, not the living, they don’t want to stop living, but they’re throwing the life out with the pain right there ready to get rid of the baby with the bathwater, or however you want to say it. And so, when we could really get clear and define that, then we could start working on the root of where this pain is coming from. And I would ask him, I said, Listen, so we have an hour and a half together and an intake, I said, so if we can relieve some of this pain in just an hour and a half, just some of it, would you be willing to kind of continue to let to work on and let go of the pain so you can now live your life in a more fulfilling joy filled sort of space, which I know is a lot to ask right now. But if we could just alleviate some of the pain are you open to moving forward, and they were, and as an Emotional Freedom Technique practitioner, I’m like an acupuncturist and a psychologist without needles. So, I can help individuals really get to that energetic emotional root of calming that amygdala, that flight, fright or freeze part of the brain. And really sort of start what I call deleting these old limiting beliefs and scripts and files from the paradigm, right, because they want to feel better, people want to feel better. People want to feel like the superhero of their own life. But when all you know how to feel is like the victim it’s an old tape. And we get stuck in an old loop. And we don’t know how to get out. And it’s so it’s a lot more complex than just look at that person feeling like a victim, believe me, nobody wants to feel like crap. Nobody wants to feel like a victim that I can promise you. And I can’t say for sure about a lot of things. But I could say that people don’t want to feel that way.
Dr. Allen Lycka
It becomes like a Groundhogs day, the old movie. You just go through the same day over and over and over again until you find your escape from Groundhog’s Day,
Ilyse Rothman
Was that Bill Murray?
Dr. Allen Lycka
It was Bill Murray. And I remember that movie where he lived the same day over and over and over again, till he finally broke out.
Ilyse Rothman
Absolutely, absolutely. And, you know, you don’t, we don’t have to hit like some rock bottom, you know, people are on they hit rock bottom. The only reason that changes happens at that point is because the hands are up and, in the resistance, gone. And it’s like okay, whatever. So, in that state of free, or, or lack of resistance, right, that relief, we’re all going for some sort of relief, you know, writing your chronicles of how many books that you’ve written. Now, I don’t even know where the information comes from Barry, but you’re just like a book writing machine. We feel a sense of worthiness or something like we give ourselves permission to feel a certain way, why we accomplish something, or in the accomplishment of it. You know, we’re looking to feel that relief, we’re looking to feel like yes, this is it, right? This is my, this is my place. This is where I belong.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Yeah, and I think what my joy in is helping other people find where they belong, helping other people find what’s in them. Helping other people getting to that new level, helping other people repressed that set reset button, and getting to that new level.
Ilyse Rothman
Right as I call it, flip your script help somebody flip their own internal script, so they can learn how to restory free so once you know once clients recognize start to become more aware of who they are in relationship to the things that are happening and they’re actually part creator of and releasing through this EFT process, teaching my clients how to really tap into who they truly are and want to be then the whole scripting and the restorying process is the next step. Right that that’s the fun part. But you got to create the space in order to start recreating. A lot of times we skipped the releasing step and we jumped from Okay, now I’m recognizing it and I’m just going to positive think over this crap. And, and it’s really hard I mean, you know this whole concept of fake it till you make it?
Dr. Allen Lycka
I sure do, I sure do. Paula Abdul taught me that.
Ilyse Rothman
And that is definitely a way to go. But I will tell you what it is one tough road like to fake it till you make it is probably climbing uphill more than you need to. Whereas if we can really get to what I call pulling the thought weeds and those old belief weeds which EFT is great for Emotional Freedom Technique. Get rid of some of these thought weeds and these belief weeds and start planting what I call these mind seeds. This new way of thinking that when you plant these seeds of thought in your mind you start growing into this being that you love and create creating this life that you love living. But you got to get, you got to create space because it’s really hard to shove a whole bunch of new seeds and flowers in a garden that’s full of weeds.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Absolutely.
Ilyse Rothman
You know, we have this fertile mind. And if it’s full of all these limiting beliefs and all these thought leads, it’s really difficult.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Well, we are getting close to the end here, so I’ve got a couple of questions to ask you. One is, you’ve probably climbed a mountain of adversity to get to where you’re at. There has to be a mountain of adversity. How did you get through it all?
Ilyse Rothman
One thought at a time, Barry, one thought at a time.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Others have to realize that, you know, looking at the big picture is often overwhelming. And that causes anxiety and fear. But taking baby steps, one step at a time is what gets you there.
Ilyse Rothman
And what and really one thought at a time is probably far more effective than just one step at a time because you have to know where you’re stepping, right? Like you can keep stepping. But if you’re stepping in a direction that you don’t really want to go, so it’s one in 10. You know what, I’m gonna actually get clear one intentional thought at a time.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Exactly. Now, we’re close to the end. So, I want to make sure people can get in touch with you about your EFT and how they can get down to Florida with you. How can they get in touch? If they need some more guidance?
Ilyse Rothman
Yes, so I am I run I actually host I’m so blessed to work with Corey Poirier, the founder of bLU talks, we have a virtual stage on Facebook. It’s called bLU talks Flip Your Script Experience. That’s the name of the group every Friday, which Barry you’re going to be a guest on my show December 18. I believe it is or 17 or whatever that Friday is.
Dr. Allen Lycka
I’d love to see that.
Ilyse Rothman
Yeah, well, you’re going to be on the show. So, you’re going to be there. We will help others
Dr. Allen Lycka
We will help others flip their switch that day.
Ilyse Rothman
Script flip their script. So, and then, Flip Your Script and really flip, Flip Your Script Coach, Flip Your Script with Elise, that’s Instagram, Flip Your Script with Elise Rothman I think it’s on Facebook. So, if you flip your script and put my name and you’ll find me, I’m at EliseRothman.com. I will say for all the parents out there and grandparents, I am a children’s book author. And I have a book out on Amazon and Barnes and Noble called I Already Am! because it’s very important for us to recognize that we already are everything that we think we need to change to be or be more accomplished to be or be more recognized to be. And then are you ready for this Barry, this is the exciting part. And I’m not wearing my band, which I normally have. But I’ve created something a very simple tool. For any of you listeners, your family, and friends, you can go on to yumlife.us That’s a company that I started all about recognizing that your possibilities are endless, okay. And this band is a Flip Your Script wristband, and it’s a reminder, it’s a physical reminder that our script and the way that we think and speak matters. So, I think it’s like $2, or something like that. It’s the best gift you could give yourself or anyone for the holidays and beyond. And basically, it’s a very simple band. And when you start to think these thoughts that you don’t want to have grow in your life, you’ll take the band, and you’ll flip it to the other wrist. And start to think if this is what I don’t want, I’m going to start focusing and paying more attention to what I do want. And that helps flip the script, one thought weed and one mindset at a time. So, the bands are great tools, and a simple resource. And if all you do is grab a band for a couple of bucks and start recognizing and becoming more aware of how you’re thinking and what you’re saying, your life is going to change instantly. I promise you I’m not in charge of the change. It’s a bigger source, but I’m going to help you connect to the magic powers that be
Dr. Allen Lycka
Sounds good. Well, Ilyse we’re out of time. Thank you very much for being my guest today. I enjoyed this immensely. We’ll take up our discussion on December 18. And we will help others flip their script.
Ilyse Rothman
I love that. Thank you so much. Have a wonderful week and I’ll see you in a few weeks.
Dr. Allen Lycka
See you in a few weeks’ bye for now.
Ilyse Rothman
Bye bye.
Dr. Allen Lycka
Bye bye. I’m Dr. Allen Lycka. Make sure you go to DrAllenLycka.com. That’s D r a l l e n Lycka – L y c k a.com and get a free copy of my book, The Secrets To Living A Fantastic Life. And subscribe to our podcast on this page, so you won’t miss a single episode. Every week we have exciting guests to help you have the best life you can.